You ask me, why Im sad?
I don’t know.
You ask me, why I’m crying?
I don’t know, it hurts.
I don’t know everything on the inside hurts and Im so sad but I don’t know why maybe because I’ve been feed lies breakfast lunch and dinner my whole life now i have to face that. i never really believed it anyway but it hurts cause i wanted to, i wanted to believe in things, you me and the stars. love what a tragic idea of a joke. i wake up everyday knowing that i can love my guts out and itll never be returned but i dont want it back i gave it for a reason and getting it back would be a lie… whats the difference between lies and compliments if everybody leaves me?
I cant blame them, honestly if i was then i wouldnt want me either i mean seriously, i like me but everyone ive met just deals they just deal cause they think itll make me sadder if they dont but i know that look far better than i should.
oh this brings back memories how you want one thing and realize it wasnt enough you want more.
oh fuck yes!
all i wanted was to be invincible not invisible
and the one time i thought i saw a glimpse of me in your eyes
you blinked it away
and i died alil inside.
The truth is this: you will find yourself crying on the top deck of buses some mornings
and others you won’t make it to the station at all.
Evening will never come soon enough and still
you cannot sleep for fear of tomorrow’s dawn.
Your heart, looking into your best friend’s eyes, will ache as if it never knew love
and however many oceans you drift on no coast seems quite far enough
to break from the weight of a thousand worlds you dreamed of
but somehow, sometimes
you end up sharing a promise with someone else’s emptiness
on the back wall of the not-happened-yet
and suddenly you have always been
in exactly the right place.
My words bled a kind of honesty
that no one else has ever heard from me
but you. I am terrified of loving, of hoping,
of being, and I am scared of the way I
find myself wanting to walk into moving traffic
because the world is just
It starts with your breathing.
Everybody’s lungs are heavy with something-
mine; half tar, half hope.
We carry our own life belts
inside our ribs.
I saw you in my dream and
life started that next morning
and it starts walking home in the rain
under stars that hold no solace
and it starts with fear and
it starts with the tonic chord.
I can’t tell you how it ends but
it will have been worth it